Self Improvement - The Female View

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Self Improvement - The Female View

Types of Harassment

February 24th 2011 17:30

There are different typesof harassment that you may see, encounter, and even experience. It is always a good idea to make sure that you are well versed in what is considered harassment so that you can have it stopped.

Racial Harassment- This is a common form of harassment in which a person is essentially discriminated, picked on, etc because of their race or ethnicity. Names, dirty words, or bad actions that may target a particular race are common forms of harassment.

Sexual Harassment- This is another common type of harassment that may occur anywhere. Both men and women can be sexually harassed, wherer words, comments, gestures, and behaviors may offend, degrade, or target a particular gender. In some cases, gay men and lesbians are sexually harassed because of their relationship statuses and preferences.

Police Harassment- This is basically unfair treatment by law officials, which may include excessive force, profiling, threats, coercion, and other forms of discrimination.

Community Based Harassment- Occurs when a person is stalked by a group who may use repeated distractions that the person may be sensitive towards.

Psychological harassment- humiliation, imitidation, or abusive behavior that may be hard to detect. This may occur with one person plays on another's self esteem by lowering one's self image, perception, or overall esteem.

Sociological Harassment- This form of harassment occurs when a record is kept of what may appear as unrelated events, in a passive-aggressive means and forms of intimidation. In a way, sociological harassment is a form of psychological harassment.

No matter what type of harassment that is occuring, it needs to stop, as it makes school, work, church, etc. uncomfortable. Plus, there are laws against it.

Stalking (to include cyberstalking), mobbing, and hazing, are all forms of harassment that may occur in addition to verbal comments and physical gestures.

Harassment may make you feel uncomfortable, threatened, insecure, unworthy, etc. If you or someone you know is suffering from harassment, you want to go to a higher power, to have the situation resolved.

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Posted By: Whitney - Category: Self Improvement

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Why Do Women Gossip?

August 23rd 2010 20:07

Men gossip too, but it seems that so many women like to gossip. In most cases, it's not on purpose, but it's small talk about what's going on. In many cases, it's just a matter of talking, but not watching what you say. I mean, not everyone wants to hear about Johnny's affair.

Gossip can easily ruin a friendship, relationship, job, etc. It's easy to do.

When new information comes out, sometimes it's hard not to share. Whether it's about the new cool gift that Joanne is getting from her boyfriend, or if it's about potential termination at work. It's hard sometimes to keep your mouth shut when it comes to news and current affairs (new events going on, not necessarily affairs, but it could be an affair).

Women gossip for attention; to spread information; as a distraction; and to hear themselves talk. There is no one reason as to why women gossip as everyone is different, but in general, we all do it.

When you find yourself talking about someone else, that's considered gossiping. Sometimes it's harmless, but in other cases, it can cause chaos in a relationship.

One thought is that it is easier to gossip about others than to focus on oneself. It's easier to talk bad about or to just talk about others, than to focus on self-improvement.

Gossip and news is everywhere, from blogs, to tabloids, to twitter. We all do it, and it's hard to avoid. The best way to avoid gossiping is to not talk about anyone else to anyone other than the person the subject matter is about.

It's hard to do, but as a challenge to yourself, give it a try. You may not think you're a gossiper, but once you try not to talk about others or about things that you've heard from others, you'll see how often you really think about it.

I'll admit that I will try this challenge for an entire week, but I can't guarantee anything. I never realized how much of a gossiper I was until I started work. I got into the habit of gossiping because I was hanging around and working with women who have the habit of gossiping, which ran off on me. I try not to tell people about business going on within the company, but sometimes it can be hard. The way I help it, is to tell my boyfriend who doesn't know but a few people that I work with, so although I'm still gossiping, it's not being spread around the office by my lips.

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Posted By: Whitney - Category: Self Improvement

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How to Improve Low Self Esteem

August 16th 2010 12:52

It's normal to feel bad about yourself once in a while, but if you have low self esteem, you may feel bad about yourself all the time or more than most. You can't do anything right; you won't succeed at anything, so why try; and other similar thoughts are those that you don't have to think or feel. You can better your self esteem, and you'll soon realize that you can do anything that you want to do.

When trying to raise your self esteem, don't let yourself think any bad thoughts about yourself. If you have to, wear a rubber band around your wrist, and every time you think something bad about yourself, pop the rubber band. You want to get yourself thinking positive thoughts about yourself and about your life.

You want to pay more attention to yourself and your own needs and wants. Listen to your body. The better care that you take of yourself, the better you will feel. Start exercising, as this will help get the hormones pumping, and you'll feel better just after walking around the block. Eat a healthier diet, as you'll find the more junk food you eat, the worse you'll feel about yourself and your body.

Treat yourself once in a while. Thinking about yourself and watching your diet is one thing, but once in a while, it's a good idea to treat yourself to a small shopping spree or a day at the spa. You deserve it. You're busy mom, wife, student, employee. You deserve it.

Spend a little time doing something that you've been planning on doing, whether it's work in the garden, paint your bedroom, redecorate the house, or paying a bill that's been hanging over your head. Once you complete something, you'll see that you can do it!

Don't be scared to fail, as everyone can't do everything right. There are times when we need help. Don't be afraid to try something new, and don't be afraid to ask for help, when you need it.

If you know something that you're good at, take those skills and run with them. Find an activity that you can use your skills at, whether it's painting a friends living room, training you dog to do a new trick, or helping your child achieve an 'A' on a paper.

Help someone. Spend time with people that make you feel good, and avoid people that make you feel bad. Find time for yourself daily, even if it's reading a chapter in your favorite book before bed. Display something in every room of your house and your office at work that makes you feel good, whether it's a picture, vase of flowers, or some special reminder or achievement that you've accomplished.

It may take time, but the little things that you change in your life will help you improve your self esteem.

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Posted By: Whitney - Category: Self Improvement

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Overcoming Jealousy

March 25th 2009 15:39

Jealousy can well up inside you and build until you have started the beginning of a problem in your relationship. To some degree it's only natural to be a little jealous, but you want to make sure that you do not let the green eyed monster take a hold of you.

If you can figure out what exactly makes you jealous, you can start the beginning process of overcoming your jealously problems and you can start to put your main focus on building trust, setting boundaries inside and outside the relationship, and respecting each other.

Things that may cause your jealousy can include:
* You may be insecure about your self-worth, to where some part of you feels like you just don't measure up. And in this case, if you can't love yourself, you may not believe that someone else would love you, leading you to believe that your partner may leave you for someone else.
* You're prone to cheat, so you think that because you have done it and are capable of it, your partner may be prone to the behavior as well.
* There haven't been clear boundaries set within the relationship, and because you don't know what is permissible and what isn't, you may be on your toes about what your partner is doing when not around you.
* Your partner is cheating on your either physically or emotionally. Even if your partner is sharing and confiding in someone other than you, it may make you feel more vulnerable to the loss of the relationship.

You should also try to determine if you just being paranoid, or do you really have a jealousy problem? Normal jealousy can sometimes alert you to a problem, but an obsession jealousy and paranoia can cause problems that may not exist. Look back at previous relationships to determine whether there was a jealousy problem there.

Now that you've hopefully figured out what is making you jealous, you need to find ways to overcome your jealously before it causes problems in your relationship. The more trusting that you are with your partner, the healthier your relationship can become. You do not want the jealousy to overcome you.

1. Avoid Players and Flirts. Although not all flirts can cause problems in regards to cheating, if you know that you have a jealousy problem, then you want to avoid them altogether because you'll always be wondering what if it's more than just flirting.

2. Gain confidence. Sometimes jealously does not lie within your partner but within yourself. If you lack confidence in some area of your life, you may feel that your partner will leave you, so it's good to work on your confidence so that if you feel better about yourself, you may not become envious of other people that your partner talks to or hangs out with.

3. Talk to your partner. By communicating with your partner, you can overcome your jealousy. If your partner knows how you feel about how he acts or what he says to people you think are attractive, he can correct his behaviors. Just make sure that your partner is aware that you are not accusing him of anything. Accusations will not get you anywhere.

4. Create a line. You want to make sure that both you and your partner are aware of what you both feel is acceptable behavior. If you both know the rules, so to speak, then there shouldn't be a problem unless the rules are truly broken. If you don't know the rules, then that can lead to higher risk of jealousy concerns. Just make sure that the boundaries are reasonable.

5. Find ways to strengthen the relationship. You may find that if you are overly jealous, especially if you have no reason to be, then your relationship may not be as strong as it should be. You should address that so that you and your partner can figure out what the problem really is and work on correcting that concern versus wasting time and energy with your jealousy concerns.

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Posted By: Whitney - Category: Dating & Relationships, Self Improvement

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Learn How to Trust Again

March 13th 2009 20:11

When starting a relationship it is very important that you have trust, and if you have been used and abused in previous relationships, it can be hard to trust again. But, in order to have a healthy relationship, you need to figure out how to trust, as you can't have a healthy relationship without having trust to keep the relationship together.

I was once a very trusting person who believed that everyone started off with trust in my books, but as I had to forgive more, the trust in that person began to lessen until there was no more trust left. Well, due to my last relationship, my trust level for the male gender is in the negatives, and with a new relationship it is very hard to manage. I want to trust my new boyfriend, and I know that I have no reason that I shouldn't trust him, but in the back of my head, there are thoughts of dis-trust.

So, here are the tips that I have for rebuilding your trust and learning how to trust men, especially after you have gotten out of a bad relationship where the trust was minimal to none.

* Before starting a new relationship, make sure that you are ready for it. Give yourself time to heal from the previous relationship that caused you to lose your trust in men/women before you try to jump into another relationship. You will know when you are ready to try again.

* Start a new relationship off slowly. From the beginning make sure that you both understand that you want to take things slow. Be honest from the get-go, so that your partner is aware that you do like him, but just need to take things slow because past relationships have not gone as smoothly as you would like, and you just don't want to rush anything.

* Be patient and do not rush. Your trust in men will return, but it will take time before you are at full speed again. When trying to convince yourself to trust your new boyfriend, think hard. Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? What is he telling you? How open is he being, especially about telling you things before you have a chance to ask? If he hasn't given you a reason to dis-trust him yet, then trust him, which can be hard especially if you're thinking of what will he do in the future that will cause you to lose trust again. Just be patient. Take the beginning of the new relationship day by day.

* If you start to see patterns in your new relationship that you saw in your past relationship, stop things before they get too serious. No, that doesn't mean leave the relationship just yet; it means talk it out now so that he know what is going on in your head about the situation and you can see how the two of you can alter the actions and reactions. f he doesn't know, then nothing can change. He may actually be an honest, trustworthy person.

* Talk to him. Ask him what he's thinking. You don't know what's going on his his head, unless you ask. You can't assume you know what he's thinking. You can't assume that you know his thoughts about you and your relationship or about situations and scenarios that you are encountering.

* Stop creating stories and scenarios in your head. These thoughts have no real basis, and they create suspicion about your partner. If you can stop or just change up these scenarios, then you can stop thinking the worse about your partner. Plus, these made-up scenarios in your head could be the downfall of a potentially wonderful and near perfect relationship that you would have had if you had stopped or altered the thoughts.

* Always tell the truth. If you can speak the truth and your partner can speak the truth back to you without either of you getting defensive, you will be able to foster better relationship with your partner because you will be able to freely express what you are thinking and how you are feeling without the fear of being judged.

Remember that the foundation for any healthy relationship is emotional safety and trust (physical safety, being a given), so if you are not emotionally secure with your partner, you need to find the proper means of expressing yourself so that you can better the relationship.

You need to base trust on yourself, not the other person. If you have trust issues in a relationship, you need to diagnose the problem, as to why don't you trust your partner. Once you know why you don't trust him, then you can figure out how to fix the situation. You may not be with the right person but you may. You will not know unless you fix your trust issues and give the relationship a proper try.

No matter what reason has caused you to lose your trust, you should remember that if you do not have trust in your relationship and your partner, you need to be willing to work on finding ways to trust, which will depend on how willing you are at opening up to your partner.

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Posted By: Whitney - Category: Dating & Relationships, Self Improvement

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You Can Spend Friday Night at Home Alone

February 27th 2009 21:34

When Friday roles around, you don't have to go out with a date or with friends. You can just stay home and relax. Personally, I love to just stay home by myself at least one Friday a week. It gives me the perfect rest for the weekend.

When staying at home on a Friday night, you don't have to feel like a loser or a hermit because you want to stay home. Not by any means. I used to think that, but it's just one night of the weekend, and you can make up for it the rest of the weekend

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