Anne TootillTo Be or Not to Be a Mother -Part Two
November 17th 2006 15:20
I had to go to work late today because Josh had a fever and he was pulling at his ear so I took him to the doctor. Duke, my boss was completely understanding. Having worked with him for two months now I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s either a mother masquerading as a man or he’s being considered by the church for sainthood.
Anyway, it turns out Josh had an ear infection and since my ear was hurting as well the pediatrician took a look and guess what? I had one too. So he gave me a prescription for an antibiotic. For some reason I didn’t fill it when I filled Josh’s. I gave Josh his medicine, kissed him all over and then left him with the babysitter to be cuddled. And off to work I went.
The rest of the morning I thought about filling that prescription but something was bothering me. You see my hubby and I had unprotected sex the month before. Trying to conceive aside, it was the second time since we’d been a couple that we’d slipped and even though we’d had fertility problems in the past something inside of me said I should check with my Gynecologist to see if the ear medication would be acceptable to take if I was pregnant.
Now mind you I didn’t want to be pregnant and I hadn’t even been thinking about the “incident” until that very moment. For goodness sake I’d had years of fertility problems and done it a thousand (not so slight exaggeration, but my hubby would love it to be fact) times until I finally gotten pregnant. But there it was in my head and it wouldn’t go away. So I called the Gynie and he told me that if I thought I was pregnant I shouldn’t take that medication. It could hurt the fetus, he said.
But how could I be pregnant? It was ridiculous to even give it a second thought. How could one act of unprotected sex make it past years of fertility problems? It couldn’t.
My ear was hurting as I stared at that prescription and then I did something that seemed so stupid I knew I’d regret it later. I crumbled the answer to my pain and tossed it into the garbage and then I went back to work.
Later that night when Josh was asleep and I was waiting for my husband to come home I took out that test tube and peed into a cup. I transferred the urine into the tube and I set the timer. Ten minutes later it buzzed. I went back into the bathroom and stared at the test tube as I heard the door open and my husband’s footsteps in the hall.
“What’s going on?” he asked as I held up the bright blue test tube and the two of us looked on in disbelief and dismay. All I could think about was that we’d finally gotten to a good place and now it was about to start all over again.
Anyway, it turns out Josh had an ear infection and since my ear was hurting as well the pediatrician took a look and guess what? I had one too. So he gave me a prescription for an antibiotic. For some reason I didn’t fill it when I filled Josh’s. I gave Josh his medicine, kissed him all over and then left him with the babysitter to be cuddled. And off to work I went.
The rest of the morning I thought about filling that prescription but something was bothering me. You see my hubby and I had unprotected sex the month before. Trying to conceive aside, it was the second time since we’d been a couple that we’d slipped and even though we’d had fertility problems in the past something inside of me said I should check with my Gynecologist to see if the ear medication would be acceptable to take if I was pregnant.
Now mind you I didn’t want to be pregnant and I hadn’t even been thinking about the “incident” until that very moment. For goodness sake I’d had years of fertility problems and done it a thousand (not so slight exaggeration, but my hubby would love it to be fact) times until I finally gotten pregnant. But there it was in my head and it wouldn’t go away. So I called the Gynie and he told me that if I thought I was pregnant I shouldn’t take that medication. It could hurt the fetus, he said.
But how could I be pregnant? It was ridiculous to even give it a second thought. How could one act of unprotected sex make it past years of fertility problems? It couldn’t.
My ear was hurting as I stared at that prescription and then I did something that seemed so stupid I knew I’d regret it later. I crumbled the answer to my pain and tossed it into the garbage and then I went back to work.
Later that night when Josh was asleep and I was waiting for my husband to come home I took out that test tube and peed into a cup. I transferred the urine into the tube and I set the timer. Ten minutes later it buzzed. I went back into the bathroom and stared at the test tube as I heard the door open and my husband’s footsteps in the hall.
“What’s going on?” he asked as I held up the bright blue test tube and the two of us looked on in disbelief and dismay. All I could think about was that we’d finally gotten to a good place and now it was about to start all over again.
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