WhitneyTo Be or Not to Be a Mother - Part Two
November 10th 2006 19:26
Not much to report on. The days turned into nights and motherhood had become pretty routine. It went something like this. Josh wakes up at 5 A.M. and eats Gerber or Beechnut (whichever is cheaper) hot cereal, like rice or oatmeal. Then he has a bottle which these days he sucks down in no time flat. We say good-bye to daddy (aka my husband) who is off to catch a 7:20 A.M. train to work and it’s off for a long stroll around the neighborhood.
Yup, Josh and I stroll for more than an hour through the streets of our neighborhood and still we hardly ever come across another living being. And if we do see a living/breathing thing, they’re way past their childbearing years (that includes men who may never shoot blanks but at eighty years old should no longer be firing off a round without protection) and not even interested in returning a friendly hello.
After a lunch of some foul-looking and tasting lump of pureed protein (chicken, turkey or beef), pureed vegetable, pureed fruit and a bottle - thankfully Josh is not picky and eats it all - it’s on to our errands. The supermarket - a much more pleasurable shop since the passing of the colic - or the bank, or if the weather is cold, we walk through the mall just to get out of the house. Not that I could afford to buy much. Without my salary, money was pretty tight.
And it wasn’t as if I had a job to return to. You see before I got pregnant I’d been working part- time while I went to law school on a full scholarship, but I’d had to defer this scholarship when I was hospitalized and bed-ridden with severe morning sickness. And then when Josh was colicky I had to give it up entirely because if I had wanted to throw my own son out a window, what would a babysitter do when she couldn’t take his crying anymore? Of course I could return to the part-time job but then I’d have to take out a loan to pay the babysitter because after taxes my hourly wage was less than the babysitter’s.
By 5 P.M. it was time for another round of pureed meats, veggies and fruit and another bottle and. By 7 P.M. Josh was diapered and tucked in for the night and I ate dinner and then waited for my husband to arrive home at 8:15 P.M.
I hate to admit it but I now that I wasn’t stressed out from lack of sleep and nonstop screaming I was starting to get a little bored. Nobody else to talk to or be with. Just Josh and me from morning to night. Just me and Josh. Just me and Josh until my husband came home.
Yup, Josh and I stroll for more than an hour through the streets of our neighborhood and still we hardly ever come across another living being. And if we do see a living/breathing thing, they’re way past their childbearing years (that includes men who may never shoot blanks but at eighty years old should no longer be firing off a round without protection) and not even interested in returning a friendly hello.
After a lunch of some foul-looking and tasting lump of pureed protein (chicken, turkey or beef), pureed vegetable, pureed fruit and a bottle - thankfully Josh is not picky and eats it all - it’s on to our errands. The supermarket - a much more pleasurable shop since the passing of the colic - or the bank, or if the weather is cold, we walk through the mall just to get out of the house. Not that I could afford to buy much. Without my salary, money was pretty tight.
And it wasn’t as if I had a job to return to. You see before I got pregnant I’d been working part- time while I went to law school on a full scholarship, but I’d had to defer this scholarship when I was hospitalized and bed-ridden with severe morning sickness. And then when Josh was colicky I had to give it up entirely because if I had wanted to throw my own son out a window, what would a babysitter do when she couldn’t take his crying anymore? Of course I could return to the part-time job but then I’d have to take out a loan to pay the babysitter because after taxes my hourly wage was less than the babysitter’s.
By 5 P.M. it was time for another round of pureed meats, veggies and fruit and another bottle and. By 7 P.M. Josh was diapered and tucked in for the night and I ate dinner and then waited for my husband to arrive home at 8:15 P.M.
I hate to admit it but I now that I wasn’t stressed out from lack of sleep and nonstop screaming I was starting to get a little bored. Nobody else to talk to or be with. Just Josh and me from morning to night. Just me and Josh. Just me and Josh until my husband came home.
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