WhitneyTo Be or Not to Be a Mother -Part Two
October 31st 2006 15:45
Ah, total silence. The only sound the tic toc of the wind mechanism on the swing. Tic toc, tic toc every time I put Josh in the swing he slept. Tic toc, tic toc, for a full fifteen minutes he slept peacefully. At last we could both rest.
But as soon as the swing stopped. As soon it wound itself down Josh’s eyes flew open and seconds later he was fussing and then crying. This time however I had the remedy to his tears. Where everything else I had tried failed, now all I had to do was wind up the swing and all was right in the world. And more importantly in my head.
Josh swung while I took a shower and even though I still thought I heard him scream (every time that is), when I checked he was sound asleep. . Josh swung while I did a wash, while I sterilized his bottles, while I cleaned the house. And for the first time in six weeks (he was eight weeks old) my husband and I could eat a dinner in peace instead of taking turns rocking, feeding and soothing him.
That swing was truly a miracle. And though some days I worried that he would become so accustomed to it that it would stop working there was no way I would give it, up even for a short time. I was addicted to the swing. To the peace it finally gave me.
True, Josh was still up half the night feeding in small, although growing, amounts but my husband and I were up to four hours of sleep a piece. I could live with that. I was learning to function on limited sleep. But it had been the days filled with Josh’s screams that had nearly put me over the edge.
I know it sounds ridiculous but that swing truly changed my life. Finally, I could see what other new mothers did. Yup, my son was the cutest most adorable baby in the whole wide world. And as for motherhood? It was getting better with ever swing.
But as soon as the swing stopped. As soon it wound itself down Josh’s eyes flew open and seconds later he was fussing and then crying. This time however I had the remedy to his tears. Where everything else I had tried failed, now all I had to do was wind up the swing and all was right in the world. And more importantly in my head.
Josh swung while I took a shower and even though I still thought I heard him scream (every time that is), when I checked he was sound asleep. . Josh swung while I did a wash, while I sterilized his bottles, while I cleaned the house. And for the first time in six weeks (he was eight weeks old) my husband and I could eat a dinner in peace instead of taking turns rocking, feeding and soothing him.
That swing was truly a miracle. And though some days I worried that he would become so accustomed to it that it would stop working there was no way I would give it, up even for a short time. I was addicted to the swing. To the peace it finally gave me.
True, Josh was still up half the night feeding in small, although growing, amounts but my husband and I were up to four hours of sleep a piece. I could live with that. I was learning to function on limited sleep. But it had been the days filled with Josh’s screams that had nearly put me over the edge.
I know it sounds ridiculous but that swing truly changed my life. Finally, I could see what other new mothers did. Yup, my son was the cutest most adorable baby in the whole wide world. And as for motherhood? It was getting better with ever swing.
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