Anne TootillTo Be or Not to Be a Mother -Part Two
October 6th 2006 15:42
He was co cute. So tiny. So cuddly. So easy to love. And even though I was tired and not yet fully recovered from my pregnancy ordeal I was having a good time being Josh’s mom. My husband and I took endless videos of him. Not that he did much. He hardly even moved. But every time he was around my husband filmed another bath scene. Looking back he had to have been the cleanest kid ever.
You know it’s amazing how you talk about your children when they’re that young. It’s as if nothing is off limits. On the more predictable side we discussed who he looked like. Hands down he resembled my husband. I mean anyone who could read the top line of the eye chart could see that. But still it made me cringe like nails on a blackboard every time my mother-in-law announced (over and over and over…) how he was the spitting image of his father at that age (I saw the photo and she should have had her eyes checked) how he had grandpa’s nose and Aunt Eileen’s eyes and, and, and… Boy if looks could kill then she was definitely out to slay me when I had the nerve to suggest that he had my mouth.
And then there was his size. And I’m not talking about the fact that he was 50th percentile height, 5th percentile weight. We called him the elephant man because of all that hanging skin. An unfortunate side effect of his pre-maturity. Nope, I’m talking about size of another completely other kind. I direct you to south of the border. As in way south of the border. Yup, with the video cameras rolling I announced, in no uncertain terms, that the fruit of my loins, my baby son was well-endowed. Actually, very well- endowed. And this, I defiantly told my husband with cameras rolling, his mother couldn’t pin on her family. Oops. Uh oh, sorry dear. I didn’t mean that. But the truth was, secretly I did.
O.K., O.K., enough bragging and yes I know this isn’t a kiddie porn site but once you become a mother I found out there was no end to a mother’s pride.
You know it’s amazing how you talk about your children when they’re that young. It’s as if nothing is off limits. On the more predictable side we discussed who he looked like. Hands down he resembled my husband. I mean anyone who could read the top line of the eye chart could see that. But still it made me cringe like nails on a blackboard every time my mother-in-law announced (over and over and over…) how he was the spitting image of his father at that age (I saw the photo and she should have had her eyes checked) how he had grandpa’s nose and Aunt Eileen’s eyes and, and, and… Boy if looks could kill then she was definitely out to slay me when I had the nerve to suggest that he had my mouth.
And then there was his size. And I’m not talking about the fact that he was 50th percentile height, 5th percentile weight. We called him the elephant man because of all that hanging skin. An unfortunate side effect of his pre-maturity. Nope, I’m talking about size of another completely other kind. I direct you to south of the border. As in way south of the border. Yup, with the video cameras rolling I announced, in no uncertain terms, that the fruit of my loins, my baby son was well-endowed. Actually, very well- endowed. And this, I defiantly told my husband with cameras rolling, his mother couldn’t pin on her family. Oops. Uh oh, sorry dear. I didn’t mean that. But the truth was, secretly I did.
O.K., O.K., enough bragging and yes I know this isn’t a kiddie porn site but once you become a mother I found out there was no end to a mother’s pride.
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