WhitneyWhy Do Men Break Up with Women When They Still Like Them?
May 30th 2009 20:28
Sometimes it can be hard to understand why your boyfriend broke up with you, especially when you thought he was into you and hadn't seen any major problems in the relationship. But, men do it, as do some women... End a relationship even though there are still feelings for the other person. Here are a few reasons why men break up with women even though they may still have feelings for the woman.
The Timing is Wrong- In many cases, while in serious relationships, he just may not feel like it's the right time to settle down. So, even if you've been in a relationship for two years and he gets married after 10 months of dating another woman, it doesn't mean that it was you by any means. It just means that he wasn't ready.
Not Ready to Give up the Playing Field- Men are naturally one-uppers, which means that if there's a possibility of upgrading to something a little better, then they'll try to upgrade. This not only applies to a new car or computer, but to women, as well. In a way, it's the "grass is always green on the other side" scenario. Men don't want to miss out, and if they feel that they haven't completed their list of sexual conquests, then even though if he likes you and is really into you, he just may not want to leave the playing field just yet.
Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario- For one reason or another some men are just hyperaware of the potential problems that could occur down the line- whether it be because you've chastised him one to many times already or because he has friends who are married and the marriage hasn't turned out quite as expected. Most of the time, it's the fear that sexual relations will take a nosedive.
Like But Not Love- In many cases, the man not being in love is the reason they leave the relationship. Just because he likes you a lot, doesn't mean that there's a guarantee that it will evolve into love, and men are typically pretty intuitive when it comes to determining a woman's potential long-term.
Too Into You- Although, it may sound silly for a guy to be too into you that he has to break up with you, but if you think about it in the sense that many men don't want to get hurt, so by ending the relationship before he can get hurt, then he doesn't have to worry about it. Some men feel that when they start to have strong emotions for their partner, that there is serious potential for being emotionally needy and giving the women too much power over him, so they will end the relationship. Men just don't like to feel vulnerable, and if they're openly heartbroken they appear like wusses, so in order to be a winner, he'll end the relationship, no matter what feelings he has for the woman, just so that he doesn't have to feel humiliation and pain.
Signs that He's Going End the Relationship
Just so that you know what you're looking at, it's always good to be prepared, and you know if you flat out ask, the likelihood of a straight and honest answer isn't always going to be what you hear. In most cases, he'll tell you what he thinks you want to hear, and a few weeks to months later, he'll end the relationship anyway. Here are a few things to look out for.
* His cell phone is always off. He may be spending time with someone else and doesn't want you to know about it, or he just doesn't want to make himself available to you
* He's reluctant to make plans, especially plans in the future- whether the upcoming weekend on next month.
* He's getting meaner. The more passive-aggressive and asshole-ish he tries to make himself the more he's trying to make you break up with him, so that he doesn't have to do it.
* He's losing interest in sex and sexual activities. He doesn't want to be connected with you, or he's just getting his needs filled by someone else.
The Timing is Wrong- In many cases, while in serious relationships, he just may not feel like it's the right time to settle down. So, even if you've been in a relationship for two years and he gets married after 10 months of dating another woman, it doesn't mean that it was you by any means. It just means that he wasn't ready.
Not Ready to Give up the Playing Field- Men are naturally one-uppers, which means that if there's a possibility of upgrading to something a little better, then they'll try to upgrade. This not only applies to a new car or computer, but to women, as well. In a way, it's the "grass is always green on the other side" scenario. Men don't want to miss out, and if they feel that they haven't completed their list of sexual conquests, then even though if he likes you and is really into you, he just may not want to leave the playing field just yet.
Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario- For one reason or another some men are just hyperaware of the potential problems that could occur down the line- whether it be because you've chastised him one to many times already or because he has friends who are married and the marriage hasn't turned out quite as expected. Most of the time, it's the fear that sexual relations will take a nosedive.
Like But Not Love- In many cases, the man not being in love is the reason they leave the relationship. Just because he likes you a lot, doesn't mean that there's a guarantee that it will evolve into love, and men are typically pretty intuitive when it comes to determining a woman's potential long-term.
Too Into You- Although, it may sound silly for a guy to be too into you that he has to break up with you, but if you think about it in the sense that many men don't want to get hurt, so by ending the relationship before he can get hurt, then he doesn't have to worry about it. Some men feel that when they start to have strong emotions for their partner, that there is serious potential for being emotionally needy and giving the women too much power over him, so they will end the relationship. Men just don't like to feel vulnerable, and if they're openly heartbroken they appear like wusses, so in order to be a winner, he'll end the relationship, no matter what feelings he has for the woman, just so that he doesn't have to feel humiliation and pain.
Signs that He's Going End the Relationship
Just so that you know what you're looking at, it's always good to be prepared, and you know if you flat out ask, the likelihood of a straight and honest answer isn't always going to be what you hear. In most cases, he'll tell you what he thinks you want to hear, and a few weeks to months later, he'll end the relationship anyway. Here are a few things to look out for.
* His cell phone is always off. He may be spending time with someone else and doesn't want you to know about it, or he just doesn't want to make himself available to you
* He's reluctant to make plans, especially plans in the future- whether the upcoming weekend on next month.
* He's getting meaner. The more passive-aggressive and asshole-ish he tries to make himself the more he's trying to make you break up with him, so that he doesn't have to do it.
* He's losing interest in sex and sexual activities. He doesn't want to be connected with you, or he's just getting his needs filled by someone else.
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Comment by Nevar
Is Why
When he finds the woman who comes close to meeting the criteria of both lists-he'll hang out longer, trying the relationship on for size so to speak.
A sexist bastard that I know reasonable well, defined it this way: most men want a tramp in bed and lady in public-what ever that means.
Comment by Wilson Pon
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Comment by Someone
Evil Pleasures
Random Musings on Life, Love and Everything
Let's Get Down To Business
You say that like it's a bad thing. Men are programmed to want to spread their seed as far as possible, so to speak. It's in our genes.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
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subsection: hes gay but not out, you will probably end up best friends later
also never forget the male drama queen who enjoys picking fights and leaving for the sake of playing mind games, in which case you are probably better off without him
Comment by Whitney
Gaming for Life
The Female View
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Wilson, I'll second that.
Someone, it is a bad thing for a woman who's ready to settle down.
Morgan, that's one take on that phrase. Ha.