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Some Things Just Happen

January 13th 2012 23:29
In the famous words of Sugarland, "It Happens."

We all know that there are some things that we just can't prevent and just don't have a say so in how it turns out. We don't realize when we start a marriage that it will be a failure, and we don't plan an accidental pregnancy when in a new relationship.

In some cases, there are people where things just happen to. The events do not have to be odd or abnormal events, but these people are just prone to a life of unfortunate events.

For example, in my own life, the past two years include the following events that are just unfortunate, but not necessarily abnormal.


1. Boyfriend (at the time) cheats on me with his ex girlfriend and gets her pregnant.
2. After sticking out the relationship for a year and a half, the ex girlfriend's miscarriage, and the personal hardship of dealing with the events without the help of the boyfriend, we go on a break.
3. During said break, he gets back with the girlfriend, and I find out from his friends that he and I are broken up.
4. He moves in with the ex, now his current girlfriend.
5. During all of this, my parents decide their 29 year marriage is failing and should have ended 25 years prior.
6. My dad decides to tell me that he's seeing my best friend and they are in love.
7. When my father leaves the house, my mother decides that my dog must go with him, and I have no say-so in the matter.
8. My father and best friend buy a house together and move in down the street from my mother.
9. My mother takes all her aggression and anger out on me, and even though our relationship has always been a distant one, it's now a problem. She also makes incoherent rules about my friend driving on the street that goes by our house, even though it is the most direct route to the main road.

10. My dad breaks it to me that my friend is 5 months pregnant.
11. Now, we circle back to all those feelings and emotions from 2.5 years prior that got buried without being able to properly grieve and work through bc the boyfriend wouldn't let me (getting mad every time I tried to talk about my feelings).

Some times, things just happen and there's nothing you can do about it.

These events aren't necessarily abnormal, as they happen to many people all the time. It's just that they happened all within one span of time. My life has been this way for the past 25 years, and it gets old.

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Talking to Men - What They Want to Hear

November 12th 2011 00:25
Men are hard to read sometimes, but there are things that they do and don't want to hear, especially on the first few dates... Before they decide if they want you to stick around.

They want to hear "then what happened" when they're telling stories because they want to think that you're interested and they want to believe that they're interesting.

"That's impressive" will feed a man's ego, which is definitely something that they all enjoy.

Use your manners, so 'thank you,' 'please', etc. are great terms to use on your date. Believe it or not, but men do not like rude women.

"Can I have your opinion" is a phrase that men like and don't like. They tend to like it because it makes them think that their opinion matters to you, but they do hate it because depending on what you're asking, he may not feel like he is going to answer right.

You never want to start conversations off using "my ex-boyfriend" or "can I take this call." You should also avoid any topics and phrases that include marriage, having children, abortion, etc. You can easily freak off a guy if you're on the first few dates with these topics.

And, depending on the guy, watch how much you talk about you 'cute shoes' or 'elegant dress.' You just can't gush hours, much less too many minutes on shopping and hair with men.



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Is a Relationship Break Good?

July 15th 2011 19:53
Depending on how and why you need a break, will determine whether or not it is a good thing. I have never had a good response by a break; for me it's always let to off and on again relationships that tend to drag out.

Well, I've found myself on another break... I tried to explain to him how it wouldn't work, but basically, he's tired. He doesn't know if he's in love or just loves me. I think it's a load of crock, but whatever.

You'll find that a break is not going to be a quick fix. It's a time where both people are supposed to think and use the time a part to figure out what you want and how to achieve it. A break is simply a way that you can try to take time a part to work out certain issues.

If you want to try a break with your relationships, I recommend that you talk everything out before hand. I've done that with this break, and I sense some differences with my previous ones. By talking things out, you know what you and your partner need to think about in order to make things work. You don't want to take the time and ignore the problems because they'll be there waiting as soon as you get back together.

By talking, you'll be able to get all your feelings out. This is a time that you may be able to share feelings that you've never told your partner, and vice versa. By explaining why you need a break, or hearing your partner's explanation, there may be time to salvage the relationship.

You have to be patient and you'll have to trust your partner. If your partner no longer loves you or is no longer in love with you, your relationship would end no matter what, if it hasn't already.

By taking a break, you'll both be able to rediscover yourself. You'll be able to remember what things where like when it was just you. When you're in a relationship, you tend to compromise so much, it's hard to tell where one person starts and the other ends.

A relationship break can help you slow down and learn about yourself and your partner without the added stress of the relationship. In some cases, a break in a relationship can help create a better bond because both people are given time to replenish yourself so that you can give your relationship a better go.

In some cases, breaks can lead to break ups, but in those cases and in those relationships, there would be a break up either way. In my previous relationship, we would have broken up no matter how many breaks we tried.

Just make sure that you and your partner both know and understand any rules of the break.

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Is He Ready to Leave?

June 5th 2011 01:04
Thinking about whether or not your boyfriend, fiance, or husband is thinking about leaving you is never anything that anyone wants to think about. But, if you have that bad feeling that he just isn't happy, then you'll want to look out for the following five warning signs.

1: Your one-on-one dates are becoming group outings.
2: He suddenly wants to make a change with himself, whether it's a new wardrobe, suddenly dieting and exercising, or finding new hobbies.
3: He’s cranky and critical all the time.
4: His body language is more of avoidance, stand-offish, or just distant.
5: He’s hard to reach, whether by phone, email, text, or mentally.

You don't always want to just listen to the words that are coming out of his mouth, but you want to make sure that you pay close attention to behaviors and body language.

You don't want to just assume that he's cheating on you or making dates with other women. You don't want to drive yourself crazy, but you always want to protect yourself and your heart.

If you think that there is something going on, you'll want to sit down and have a one-on-one. See what he's thinking. Make everything open and honest. Let him vent and just listen without being too defensive.

You do not want to be the victim, but you want to be in control of your own destiny.

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There are many women, these days, who are freezing their eggs while they wait for Mr. Right to come along. These women pay good money to have their eggs extracted and set aside while they wait.

In a way, this is a great wait to preserve eggs, which are not of endless numbers, while you age. This keeps the possibility of children, in the future alive and available.

If this is something that you may be interested in considering, you'll want to find a fertility clinic and have a consult.

This process is still considered investigational, and hasn't proven 100% effective for all women, it is still a popular choice for those women who are getting older and just haven't found Mr. Right.

The cryopreservation process has definitely evolved over time. There has been a sharp increase in the post-thaw survival rate of the eggs with statistics as high as 90%. There is even an increase in successful fertilization after thawing, which mark as high as an 80% success rate. The new techniques and freezing improvements have increased pregnancies up to 35% per embryo transfer.

These odds are quite impressive, so it is definitely something that any middle aged woman may want to consider, if they're still hunting for that perfect man to settle down with.



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Don't go Back to an Ex

November 11th 2010 13:14
I took my dog into the vet today for some bloodwork and a checkup for his seizures, since he's occasionally still having them while on his medications. But anyway, when I dropped him off, the receptionist asked me to put him in the back for her (they always do that because no one wants to get bit by a 7.5 pound yorkie). While back there, I saw my ex boyfriend's grandparent's dachshund. Bo is the same age as Codie, yet Bo (the Dachshund) has not aged well by any means; he's always been overweight, but now he's gray head to toe and is even fatter than the last time I saw him about 3 years ago.

Seeing Bo got me thinking about my ex, who I had pretty much just stopped talking to. When you end up in jail again over the same thing, there just comes a time when I can't help you anymore


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Boyfriend Cheated, How to Reconcile

August 5th 2010 12:37
The important thing to remember, is that you love him, and you've obviously made the decision to try to move past this to reconcile your relationship. That is great. Just remember that there is nothing on the internet, in a book, or in a magazine that will tell you what the 100% right thing for you to do. None of your friends, or his, will be able to tell you what you you should. The decision is yours to make, and there is no wrong answer. All you have to do is to figure out what you want, and give that a try. If it doesn't work out, then you can say that you tried.

So, when trying to figure out what to do next, after you found out your boyfriend has cheated is truly up to you. Some of the suggestions that may be made include


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Boyfriend Cheated, How to Move On

August 3rd 2010 12:36
First and foremost, there is nothing that you will ever read on the internet, in a book, or in a magazine that will tell you what is the right thing for you to do. Your friends can't even tell you what is right for you. You just have to know what is right for you, and there's no wrong answer, just choices to make.

If your boyfriend or spouse has cheated on you, it's hard to say what to do next. Depending on your relationship, you may want to just end the relationship and move on. That is your choice and nothing wrong with that option


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Single Christian Looking for Love

January 12th 2010 21:52
If you're a single Christian looking for someone with your same values, it may be hard to find that right man. When you work, go to school, and socialize with the same basic people all the time, it can be hard to go outside of that box.

Well, Christian Singles is a great online dating site for Christian men and women. You'll be able to find genuine people who want the same thing in life as you to - to lead a Christian life


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Does Your Boyfriend Love You?

December 26th 2009 16:12
Sometimes it can be hard to figure out whether or not your boyfriend really loves you or not. You don't want to get too far into a relationship with your feelings growing and his still teetering on commitment issues. It's better to figure things out sooner than later. For the most part, you can use your intuition as to whether or not the feelings are mutual, but it's nice to know it 100 percent for sure. Remember that actions really do speak louder than words, so even if he says it, do his actions show you that he really does love you?

You will find that when trying to figure out what your boyfriend is saying can be hard or simple. It's really a crap shot. First off, though, men are usually pretty sincere when they tell you they're feelings. Look him in his eyes, and if he's looking you right back in the eye, he's probably being honest. If he's looking all over the place, then I'd be a little leery


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