WhitneyGetting Out of A Bad Relationship
February 26th 2009 22:05
Being that I have semi-recently gotten out of a bad relationship, I can definitely vouch for how hard it can be to leave. I was with this particular guy off-and-on for about three and a half years, and let me tell you that was a time of Hell for a good two-thirds of the duration. Now, granted I would not take that away and I do not regret the time, but boy was it Hell at times.
Imagine being lied to, stolen from, and cheated on. He did just about everything except hit me, but boy I know there were times he was probably wanted to. But, anyway, we broke up and got back together a few times. There were times where I would try to make things work and he wouldn't, and vice verse there were times where he would try and I wouldn't. The relationship just wasn't a pleasant one after the first year.
So, trust me when I say it can be hard to get out of a bad relationship. I've seen a number of bad relationships and it took a good amount of time for the couples to finally cut ties.
You're in a bad relationship if:
* The relationship is abusive, either physically or mentally.
* The relationship is one sided, where only one of you is trying.
* The relationship lacks trust.
* The relationship includes a damaged individual (IE a person who need to work on himself before he should really be in a relationship.)
You know you're in a bad relationship if you see yourself trapped or if you see yourself as a victim. You do not have to be in a bad relationship, and the minute you feel trapped or like a victim, you should get out. I wish I had.
You do not want to stay in an unhealthy relationship just because of the other person, you will end up hurting the other person more by staying in the relationship, either way.
If you find that you are in a bad relationship and you want out and leaving when he/she feels there is nothing wrong, which will be the majority or the time, anyway.
Never think "I'll never get someone new, so it's best to just put up with what I've got." You can always find someone better. I have, and you can too. And, you know what, if that means that you have to be alone a while, then so be it; being alone is better than suffering and putting yourself through misery.
Some of my favorites to staying in a bad relationship include:
* "He'll change because he is a good person underneath." You know what that may be true, but if he hasn't changed yet, he probably won't.
* "He really needs me, but he doesn't realize it yet." Honey, you are the one who hasn't realized that he doesn't need you because if he did, he wouldn't treat you the way that he does.
* "I need him." You don't need him because he's causing you stress, anguish, and probably a little depression. You can manage on your own, and you can find better!
You know, there are times when you can fix a bad relationship, but that is only the case when both parties want to fix the relationship at the same time. Otherwise, there's no point in trying.
So, if you can get past the denial of being in a happy relationship, you really can leave the bad relationship behind. Use your friends to help you get through the breakup. Use your friends to help you heal. Use your friends...
When you are finally ready to get out of your bad relationship, you will know it. Granted it may take some time and even several breakups, when the time is ready, you really will know it. Cut ties completely, it will be harder if you continue talking and hanging out.
Imagine being lied to, stolen from, and cheated on. He did just about everything except hit me, but boy I know there were times he was probably wanted to. But, anyway, we broke up and got back together a few times. There were times where I would try to make things work and he wouldn't, and vice verse there were times where he would try and I wouldn't. The relationship just wasn't a pleasant one after the first year.
So, trust me when I say it can be hard to get out of a bad relationship. I've seen a number of bad relationships and it took a good amount of time for the couples to finally cut ties.
You're in a bad relationship if:
* The relationship is abusive, either physically or mentally.
* The relationship is one sided, where only one of you is trying.
* The relationship lacks trust.
* The relationship includes a damaged individual (IE a person who need to work on himself before he should really be in a relationship.)
You know you're in a bad relationship if you see yourself trapped or if you see yourself as a victim. You do not have to be in a bad relationship, and the minute you feel trapped or like a victim, you should get out. I wish I had.
You do not want to stay in an unhealthy relationship just because of the other person, you will end up hurting the other person more by staying in the relationship, either way.
If you find that you are in a bad relationship and you want out and leaving when he/she feels there is nothing wrong, which will be the majority or the time, anyway.
Never think "I'll never get someone new, so it's best to just put up with what I've got." You can always find someone better. I have, and you can too. And, you know what, if that means that you have to be alone a while, then so be it; being alone is better than suffering and putting yourself through misery.
Some of my favorites to staying in a bad relationship include:
* "He'll change because he is a good person underneath." You know what that may be true, but if he hasn't changed yet, he probably won't.
* "He really needs me, but he doesn't realize it yet." Honey, you are the one who hasn't realized that he doesn't need you because if he did, he wouldn't treat you the way that he does.
* "I need him." You don't need him because he's causing you stress, anguish, and probably a little depression. You can manage on your own, and you can find better!
You know, there are times when you can fix a bad relationship, but that is only the case when both parties want to fix the relationship at the same time. Otherwise, there's no point in trying.
So, if you can get past the denial of being in a happy relationship, you really can leave the bad relationship behind. Use your friends to help you get through the breakup. Use your friends to help you heal. Use your friends...
When you are finally ready to get out of your bad relationship, you will know it. Granted it may take some time and even several breakups, when the time is ready, you really will know it. Cut ties completely, it will be harder if you continue talking and hanging out.
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